butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
