Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
too bad you live with your parents still
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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