I seem to have left my pride at pride
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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