I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
