needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
