Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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