Yo dont text me then not text me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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