this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
