Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
