idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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