What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
