HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
