shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
