rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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