I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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