who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
