C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
wow bdsm is so cute
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
