A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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