My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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