I should be sponsored by Trojan
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
