So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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