But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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