oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
