I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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