Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
