Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
