I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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