found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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