I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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