it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
