Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
