Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She said her name was "party"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm just crazy horny about you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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