we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
