Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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