Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
