Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
