i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
