Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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