No awkward lesbian experiences without me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
