I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
