I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
