threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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