look no pants
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
