There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
