she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
