I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
