I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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