im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I smell like Dick and happiness
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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