the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
