Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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