if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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