well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
