we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
