Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
