Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
