Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
